Anti Christine - The Devilishly Normal Daughter

Anti Christine

The Devilishly Normal Daughter

Once upon a time, or however these stories are supposed to go, there was a dastardly spirit referred to as The Adversary, or Satan for short.

This mischievous spirit didn’t like humans very much. Having been a crowned prince of Heaven, an ancient guardian over all of creation, and his father's most beautiful prior invention, he felt a little… conflicted. He wasn’t happy seeing those he watched over being promised the kingdom he thought he would inherit.

But then, pride does go to people's heads.

Funnily enough, after being thrown into a hellish lake of fire (see what I did there?), he found himself worshipped more now than before, just with a few extra scorch marks on his sides.

Many foolish people see themselves going to hell, no matter what they do. So, they think, “Hey, if I'm going anyway, why not go with a little style?”

They assume that if they get all snug and cosy with our pretty little devil, then they might get some special treatment when they finally arrive. Except... It doesn’t end up quite as “special” when people have been doing exactly that for more than 100 thousand years.

So where does our protagonist finally show up?

-

One day- (well, days don’t quite exist in hell, but stay with me)- the Devil finally decided to partner up. With so many wives, husbands and everything in between, he chose to create an heir for himself and his kingdom.

Angels, demons, and the like cannot reproduce amongst themselves. But being that people can, it has been known for the two to mix. How convenient.

This is where we get Christine – our little “Anti-Christ.”

But as with all good stories, it can't be that easy.

Turns out, the Antichrist doesn’t really… exist. Or at least, not how we interpreted the scripture.

It's mostly just fake “messiahs” trying to turn people away from Christ and towards themselves, sometimes working for the Devil. The typical fake celebrities, controlling the media, and whatnot.

Those in heaven shake in their feathers, waiting for the end of the world and the day the heavenly father calls for Armageddon. They really don't like that she's here.

Hell, especially her father, lather themselves up waiting to see what dastardly deeds she will do… impatiently.

Those on earth dread her very sight, noticing the red glow behind her eyes, petrified they'll wake up with her sharp thangs in their necks. They expect something big.

But her?

Well, like most young adults, she has her own ideas.

-

She has set her sights on one thing: money.

Actually, she is working at a few small part-time jobs.

Firstly, a small chicken shop, a cinema and a bookstore.

So, you might be asking, why did she choose something so wickedly, so horrifically, so terribly… normal?

Well, bringing the “foretold” end of the world turns out to be quite a bit of effort, and she “ain't bout all dat”.

Surprisingly, it's way easier to just tick off everyone, heaven, hell and earth alike! How? By doing nothing and watching anime all day.

Maximum seething, minimal effort, and plenty of time to eat noodles. All a good day's work.

So how about we see what she's up to?

A small fried chicken shop on the outskirts of the city opens for the lunch rush.

“Have you seen the new girl?”

A young woman, on the smaller side, asks her cool “trendy” co-worker, whilst hiding behind the kitchen counter.

“Who, her?” He looks at our red-haired menace with a sly, playful smirk.

-

Christine fixes her little hat, standing at the main counter. She stands tall, motionless, as stiff as an iron rod. Her eyes have a happy, cutesy expression.

Her face? A wide impish grin spreads ear to ear.

“She's just standing there…”

The man replies, “Well, duh, they're no customers yet.”

A quiet, mousy man hesitantly interrupts, “No… She's right. She is kind of stiff. Like, too stiff.”

“HEY!”

No reply.

“New girl!” The daring man tries again.

“Max, leave her alone,” the woman says nervously.

Christine's mischievous smile shines wide in the freshly cleaned glass.

“Hot stuff!”

Christine's haunting face slowly turns towards the group, her body still fixed front and centre.

Max’s half-lit cigarette falls from his bottom lip.

She turns back to the glass.

“You shouldn’t smoke in here!”

Her eyes give an innocent, playful glint, talking through the reflection. Her expression remains just as horrifying.

-

Stacy looks in terror. Her chest tight, heart turning cold.

“The Fuc…”

“Shut up, Bill,” Max says sternly.

Time ticks on, still the door remains closed.

Half asleep, head resting on his palms, Max notices someone walk past. “Damn, 3 PM already?”

A strange-looking goth man stands by the door, creepily looking through the window.

“Hey, Stacy! I think ur date is here?”

“Shut up, jerk,” she replies harshly, still hiding away.

The man stays still, staring at Christine from the side.

“Well? Is he going to come in or what?” Max waits impatiently.

The goth man walks in, his sights fixed on Christine.

He struts to the counter and slams down a bloodied, dead chicken, with barbed wire and bones sticking out.

“Hello,” she says, emotionless with her unwavering grin.

“Your dad wants to talk to you,” he states sternly.

“You know we sell those cooked, right?” Christine says.

“HO hoh!” Max bellows a deep laugh. “No way! I have someone perfect for you!”

He teases, talking over the whining from behind.